It sounds like chicken McNugget…but this is actually serious stuff…well, if you wanna be recognized for your writing efforts, that is.  Your own Papa Sez’s first piece in HubPages with the title ‘Thanksgiving Every Day’ was selected as one of ten best articles (hubs) for the week and voting runs until Wednesday, December 2. 

Here’s how it works.  From among an estimated 2500-2800 new hubs of new writer-members of HubPages (i.e. up to 60 days from joining) submitted during a week, a team of senior writers (HubNugget Team) selects the ten best in terms of quality, etc.  These writer-nominees are then designated as HubNugget Wannabes from among which the top five vote-getters will be declared HubNuggets. 

So you ask, what’s the big deal?  Are you gonna win $2000 or so?  Well, not quite…or not really.  Maybe a trophy? Nope.  Ah a certificate of recognition?  Hmmm a recognition of sorts, a congratulatory email from the HubNugget Team that will also be published in the official newsletter sent to all 60,000 or so members of HubPages.  This would then help introduce the HubNuggets to the community (and the rest of the internet) and boost not only their readership but their confidence as well.

So now, I am going to ask you to click on this link or the vote button below to see the list of nominated hubs (articles) and choose from among them.  I am sure you’ll find my entry as good as, if not better than, the others (wink wink).    

Voting runs only until Wednesday, December 2.  So read now…you’ll surely find gems from among the said hubs.

To join this writing community, click this link.

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One of the perks of fatherhood that I enjoyed four times is coming up with a name for each of our babies.  I find naming things (or babies for that matter) pleasurable and meaningful.  I say this because it was also the case for the 19 new species of predatory mites described by my wife for her Masteral thesis.  I loved giving names to her newly described mites and she was very generous in allowing me to recommend names for her to take into consideration in the final phase of her work in Taxonomy.  It sure looked like she did all the difficult parts (in both thesis and babies) and I get to join in the fun part of giving names.  Lucky me!

It was not all fun though because there is also the pressure of coming up with a beautiful name each time so the kids won’t be ridiculed (or ashamed of it) when they grow up.  You know how cruel kids can be when teasing classmates or friends (or enemies).  But again, the challenge only brings more excitement to the process.

To make it even more challenging, we did not settle for a baby name that only sounds good or a favorite.  It also has to satisfy these rules: two names for each baby, letters sum up to 13, second name ends with ”ele”, and of course meaningful for us or the family.  Many parents settle for names or variation derived from their own or a relative (usually the grandparents), a popular person or those they admire, same first letters with one or both parents, etc.  Our rules came to be during the naming of our first baby and we just applied them consistently to the next three.

Rica Emmanuele.  Rica was the name of a girl in an International School whose photo I happened to get before we got married.  You know, when printing companies recycle materials, yearbook images can end up at the back of pads of paper or in wrappers of printed materials.  Being in the academe at that time, I see much of these.  Rica became meaningful when I saw in her the face of my own child…with my girlfriend then as the mother.  I took that as one of the “signs” that she is the one for me.  So I married her.

Emmanuel means “God is with us.”  The feminine derivative Emmanuelle and Rica would sum up to 14 letters but we recognized that our last names totaled 13 letters together so we decided to remove one “l” and then adopted the rule about 13 letters.  We just figured 13 is a lucky number for our family.

Joseph Leonele.  Joseph was taken from my wife’s name.  We were both in the academe then and my wife was also pursuing her graduate degree.  Her mentor (and I consider her mine, too) is Leonila.  Our admiration and gratitude for her was so much that we named our second child Leonele after her.  The derivative was intentional to make it masculine and the two names to sum up to 13 letters.  When the “ele” pattern emerged for our two kids, we adopted it as another rule.  This rule also made our children’s second names unique as their spelling does not follow the commonly adopted derivative of their respective names.

Andre Ezekiele.  Ezekiel, we found out from my mom’s prayer materials after she passed away, is the patron saint of cancer patients.  It means “God strengthens”.  It was meaningful to us because my mom died before our third child was born.  Andre sounds at first to be a derivative of my name but turned out to mean “manly” or “brave”.  It was a perfect complement to Ezekiele in terms of meaning and together conforms to our rules of naming.  It also matches the personality of our child.  Even at his present stage as toddler, we already see a headstrong and physically tough yet adorable adult in him.  We have associated this to certain factors during pregnancy, which will be elaborated in a separate blog by my wife.

Nadine Ysabele.  Our fourth child came about at a critical juncture in our family life.  It was when we need to hope for something more than what we have then.  And Nadine, which means “hope,” together with Ysabele, derived from Isabel that means “God is bountiful”, was a manifestation of that desire. 

With the rules we followed in naming them, it will be obvious for the sharper observers that these four names belong to siblings.

While writing this blog, I went through the history of our family, recognizing certain milestones in our parenting journey…all manifested in the names of our children.  Apparently, we were quite successful in the choices for the names of our babies for they are not only reflective of our family’s history but also of our children’s individuality.

Although the primary intent of this blog is to provide a firsthand account of our journey to our kids, I hope readers can also benefit from knowing how we did it…in our own unique way.

Useful links:
http://www.babyhold.com/
http://www.babynames.com/

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Fatherhood Adventures subscribes to these Daily Happiness Tips about counting ones blessings and giving thanks daily.  As mentioned in a previous blog, our family performs a nightly gratitude ritual for almost half a year now.  It has a tremendous effect of boosting positive energy and happiness in our household.

Taking cue form literature on positive psychology, we came up with a ritual that suits our family dynamics and schedule.  We chose after dinnertime because it is when the family is complete, and everybody is relaxed and not in a hurry to go someplace else.  Our two school-aged children enthusiastically and immediately opted in, and in recent weeks, our toddler is also able to contribute to the rounds of thanksgiving as he had been observing all else doing it nightly for months now.

At first my wife and I had to initiate and set examples of what big or little things that happened to us that day that we are grateful for.  To make it fun and not make it into a contest, we take turns in answering the question, “What are you thankful for today?” 

We began with at least one answer each and because there are four (and now five including our tot) in the table, we usually come up with around five things we are thankful for the day.  Later on it became spontaneous that anyone can initiate and more than one answer per turn can be offered.  Our daughter sometimes like to enumerate all (or most) of what she is grateful for the day in one turn as she prepared and thought about them beforehand.

“I am thankful to Mama for preparing this yummy soup…”, “…that we had P.E. (physical education session) and we played outside today”, “…that the computer is fixed”, “…for the great news that an aunt is visiting”, “…for finishing two blogs today”, “…for Mama because she loves me.”

Whether mundane or serendipitous, small or big, fun or serious…it doesn’t matter as long as one recognized it as worthy of thanks.  Sometimes, we had to dig for elaboration from our son to just make sure that he understands what we are doing (and we understood his answer).  

There are often overlaps and repetitions, but these are part of validating and acknowledging each other’s joy in the answers or opinions we gave.  We found another avenue to interact and share our experiences with each other every day.

There had been instances, of course, that certain misdeeds crop up and had to be addressed promptly as part of parent-child dialogue and discipline.  Such instances create some negative vibes, but we just take it as part of the ritual and how our family operates.

There had been false starts and certain nights that we forgot it altogether.  So someone had to persist and be consistent about doing it.  This is particularly critical at the beginning when everyone is still figuring out what it is and why it needs to be done.  When we have guests, we include them to that night’s ritual as well.

Fatherhood Adventures recommends starting a daily gratitude ritual that is apt for your individual circumstances.  Others had done it privately by writing it in a journal (usually five items daily – difficult at first but you’ll get the hang of it eventually).  The advantages of doing it as a family or group are:

1. it facilitates interaction and is an avenue to know what’s going on in the minds of and/or what happened to each member during the day;
2. it has an inherent benefit of group support/reinforcement (e.g. to remind, motivate, acknowledge and listen to each other);
3. group rituals are human inventions that provide structure and enhance cohesion;
4. it promotes individual happiness; and,
5. it lifts everyone’s spirits, including those that may have had a not-so-good a day, by hearing that something positive happened to others (especially loved ones) and so the day was not at all catastrophic.

Why not start your own daily gratitude ritual today?  It would surely contribute to positivity and wellness in you.

The DAILY THANK YOU site, a feature of the WANNA BE HAPPY NOW website, is intended to facilitate a form of daily gratitude ritual.  By writing down what you are grateful for, the community of visitors can share in your positive feelings and happiness.  It may even give others some new insights on what fellow visitors who are seeking happiness focus at when one reviews/ remembers what happens in a day…even the tiniest, insignificant of things can be important if these made you smile!

photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/tavallai//CC BY-ND 2.0

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Fatherhood Adventures can attest to the effectiveness of Daily Happiness Tip #8- Smell a Baby.  It does calm me down from everyday stress to an extent that much hugging and sniffing may even induce me to sleep.

Just early this month when an important decision had to be made, I was all stressed out.  I happened to instinctively pick the baby up from the crib as she was making a fuss as if telling me to get her.  As I cuddled her, my thoughts still on the issue at hand, I started kissing her head and noticed her sweet smell. 

I realized how happy the baby was to be cuddled.  Her smile turned into giggles as I began to tickle her in the neck, arm and torso with my face.  It only took a few minutes of living in that moment to clear my head.  I felt better and was ready to tackle my concerns head-on. 

As mentioned in my previous blog on the benefits of being a dad, the smell, sight and sound of a baby trigger hormonal changes in men that supposed to improve problem-solving skills, resilience, motivation and stress-handling abilities. 

In different occasions, a few sniffs of the baby’s sweet smell was enough to elicit a good feeling in me…a natural high.  And indeed many times I dozed off during prolonged cuddling and exposure to baby scent.

How fortunate for me to realize (not too late) and articulate it now with our fourth child what must have always been happening to me with my first three.  Indeed discoveries are not made by looking at new territories, but by looking into familiar, everyday occurrences with a new set of eyes.

I am sharing this to provide a new perspective (a new set of eyes, or glasses if more apt) and help others recognize how precious our children are, and their presence is a blessing that positively impacts our own wellbeing if we learn to live in the moment.

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*A response by Bogs Nartatez to the blog Fatherhood Thoughts about Manny Pacquiao, Boxing and the Like.

Contact sports will stay whether we like it or not. In fact, more violent genre, which was quite taboo a decade or two ago, are now becoming main stream (UFC, PRIDE, URCC, etc). I have to confess that I enjoy contact sports (basketball, boxing, also did a little karate myself), I am even attracted to MMA (mixed martial arts). I like the concept and the art but not necessarily the violence in it (ironic?). I just try to follow fighters that I like and sometimes watch their fights (e.g. Georges St. Pierre, Vitor "the Phenom" Belfort).

 http://www.free-sport-wallpapers.comThere is something in the male gender that is prone to such activities to "prove" one's physicality. I think this has been Divinely designed in us males and is a real distinctive of the masculine species (of course, this in no way makes us superior to our better half). This is not bad in itself, but the expressions of it can be very bad (e.g. the megalomaniac Commodus and ancient Rome's lust for blood and death in the gladiatorial combats).

In terms of Manny and our kids, my personal conviction is that our kids should know about him; who Manny is, and milk his persona for all he's worth to encourage and challenge our kids.  For instance, his story from a nobody to becoming somebody; his work ethic and discipline; the lessons he learned along the way (from an extremely cocky dude to a more humbled and God-honoring person--he is still not an angel though); his love of country and our people (not just for personal wealth and fame), etc. Our kids should not be ignorant of Manny's image as a national icon.

However, I will definitely not let my nine-year old daughter sit through the whole 12 rounds of a Pacman fight. This is just not profitable for her. I will have to explain to her that this is sports pure and simple, and that this sports is for grown ups. Of course, she can come and take a peek at the fight as I'm watching and perhaps I can engage her in some conversation about it, but I will be clear that she can't watch the whole thing with me.

This is my straightforward take on the matter (I confess I have not given this much thought); and if you find this inconsistent and self-contradicting, well, I don't know, perhaps you are right . Violence is a reality in this world. We are not to be ignorant of violence and its many manifestations. However, we must not become so familiar with it that it loses its really ugly reality. Moreover, let's make sure that we don't lust for it like the ancient Romans did (apparently this is becoming a scary reality these days)!

As for The Pacman going in politics, away with such a thought!... But perhaps it's inevitable. However, I'm praying Manny will "see the light" and give up political ambition. He's moneyed enough and influential enough to do a lot of good without the trappings of politics.

In Photo: Bogs Nartatez with UFC legend 

Royce Gracie, Brazilian Jujitsu Master 
who held multiple UFC championships.

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Here’s something for us to think about come Saturday (Sunday in the Philippines) when another legendary showdown is in the making between boxing icon Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao of the Philippines and Miguel Cotto of Puerto Rico. 

Would you allow your kids to watch the bout with you?  How old is old enough?

On one hand is the argument against the culture of violence boxing, wrestling, and other full contact sports tend to promote.  Add to this category sports/hobbies/recreational activities centered on guns, weapons and firepower.  Some people I know dreams of a society devoid of guns and violence of any form.  Although this utopian dream is improbable to achieve if one considers human nature and complexities of human interactions, I see the logic and sound reasoning in approximating this ideal if only for our species own good.

Between me and my wife, she is more decidedly against such sport and recreation.  So when I broached the idea of no toy guns for our children early in our parenting journey, she readily agreed.

On the other hand, Manny Pacquiao is an acknowledged hero, Philippine icon and boxing legend.  Someone the kids should know something about, at least his excellence in his profession brought about by talent, discipline and determination.  However, much is to be desired in his other interests, particularly in politics... hmmm well, he deserves some slack.

Perhaps it’s also gender-biased to enjoy physical, full contact sports (at least watching it, in this case, and speaking for myself, I usually root for the underdog… huh?).  I grew up being able to watch “Andre the giant” slam his smaller wrestling opponent on TV as my father enthusiastically cheer “go for the kill!”  My brothers and I also had a good set of toy guns and combat paraphernalia, and were able to watch war movies/TV series and the like.  We even had two sets of gloves and a punching bag hanging in the middle of our common bedroom.

I don’t see myself as a violent person or wanting to be in this kind of activities, never mind a career!  This is in spite of exposures during my childhood years (well, violence on TV that is) and to toy guns, boxing gloves, etc.  None of my brothers have violent streaks, too.  Perhaps genetics had more profound impact in this case as my father is not a violent man himself.

My older son is averse to violence and tends to not respond aggressively to provocations from other kids.  My younger son, a toddler, tends to bully his more docile older brother now and loves to toy around throwing his tiny punches on his grandpa’s behind, my tummy and (unfortunately) his brother’s body or head, whatever is the easiest target at that time.  He learned about it in the news, while the family is talking about it, and/or when horsing around with me.

Though I am also confident that for him it’s just play, sometimes it unintentionally hurt someone who is already averse to such roughhousing.  By the way, he seems to only do it with the three other males, and not with the more numerous females in the household (interesting, isn’t it?).

There you go.  Should such sport, recreation or profession where the goal is taking down and knocking out the opponent before he does you (which are fortunately more regulated now by international professional bodies to prevent deaths and serious injuries) be tolerated and perpetuated (hey, it’s a billion dollar industry!) in the next generations? 

Can it really be stopped?  Perhaps like many other sports, men (and women) just need an avenue for occasional adrenaline rush or testosterone pumping; especially with the modern sedentary lifestyle most of us have!  What do you think?

Or is this just making much ado about nothing, and the answer is really just to go with the flow?  Hmmmm…

Certainly, it can be Pacman’s final match before his complete shift to a much challenging (more violent?) world of Philippine politics as congressman in 2010.  Hmmm, I am just playing it by ear then.  Any opinions?  Violent reactions?

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At last, after a couple of failed attempts and many unrealized plans, the family finally saw the insides of the famed People’s Park at the center of Davao City.  The failed attempts had to do with our failure to take note of the park’s schedule, which is 5-8 AM and 1-10PM.  These are periods one would not likely see us in the downtown area.

This time, the plan was to go to church at 7-8AM and play at the park afterwards.  We almost completely missed it when we arrived five minutes before closing, again only taking our chances and not knowing what the schedule was.  When we realized that it was already closing time, my wife and the baby in her arms got off the car in front of the gate and inquired.  To everybody’s delight, the “park rangers” led us in and even allowed us to park inside the parking area reserved for officials. 

Here’s a slideshow of our short but enjoyable stay inside the People’s Park.

It needs to be mentioned that developing a park at the heart of the City is laudable.  Considering that this was not in the original set-up (the area was an open, poorly maintained athletic field, more bare soil than turf) like most towns/cities in the country where parks are negligible, almost bereft of trees and poorly maintained.  Also, the area is prime location, near commercial establishments and tourist spots of the traditional center of the City.  Concerts and other shows had been staged and regular events such as early weekend morning aerobics classes are open to the public.

There’s much to admire about the concept and the intention of providing for recreational and cultural services to the people…contributing to the livability of the City.

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In these difficult times (and even during times of aplenty), nobody would refuse opportunities to reduce cost and yet get as much benefits as possible.  It’s almost like “getting your cake and eating it, too.”  Well, why not?

It’s amazing when convergence happen…when what we believe is right also presents bonuses on top of the expected benefits or primary reason for doing it.

This is the case for our resolve that our kids’ wellbeing is of primary consideration in what we do as a family.  By doing what we think is right for the kids, we all benefit, including our pockets.

Here’s a short list of things we do for our kids’ wellbeing that also reduced our medical bills:

1. Boost natural immunity.  In an earlier blog, my wife listed her top six natural immunity builders that conferred to our children generally healthy bodies and minds.  These natural immunity boosters did not only spare us much from worries, heartaches and stress associated with caring of a sick child, but also made a great positive impact on our family’s financial bottom line.  I am now going to refer you to the blogs on the natural immunity builders and the economics of implementing it, so I can expound more on the other items below.

2. Immunize.  True to the adage “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”, we follow at least the minimum immunization requirements set by the government, which include vaccines against tuberculosis (BCG), diphtheria, pertussis or whooping cough, and tetanus (DPT), Hepatitis B, polio, and measles. 

These vaccines provide protection for the above common childhood diseases by exposing the child’s body to mild (or more benign) strain of the pathogens, which allows it to develop immunity against future infection. The shots are administered in a staggered manner and provided for free by local health centers. 

There is also the combination vaccine option that cuts the number of injections (and visits) to as few as six to satisfy all of the above minimum requirements.  The cost of the combination vaccine, however, is considerable.  Optional vaccines are also offered by pediatricians depending on circumstances such as disease prevalence, location and preferences. 

These investments had been proven to have tremendous payoffs as occurrences of these common childhood diseases are at their lowest in history worldwide.  But it does not mean one can skip vaccination altogether because of these low incidence because these diseases are debilitating and life-threatening.  It is just not worth the risks (i.e. of losing a child or its future jeopardized).

3. Exercise/play.  This refers to child’s play involving physical exertion and preferably outside.  I emphasize these twin requirements as it has become easier for today’s children to avoid them because of television, computer and video games.  This trend of living in the virtual world and limited physical activities had resulted in obesity, impaired vision, and other problems in children. 

Exercise and exposure to the sun release the happy hormones, serotonin and endorphin, that makes for a vibrant immune system.  Vitamin D, which is important for immune response, is also synthesized in the skin when exposed to sunlight.

My wife and I have designed our abode to allow children to move about and provide safe, pleasant and enticing environment to playing or exploring the world outside.  Another blog to give you a glimpse of our garden full of butterflies and edible plants is in the drawing board.

Our “no or minimum television” policy as well as minimal Nintendo and computer time for our kids had also encouraged them to explore other activities such as chasing flying and jumping insects, observing ant trails, digging the soil and collecting a kind of weed seed to watch it explode in water.  This point is related to the sixth natural immunity builder listed in this link.

4. Lead a positive, well-balanced life.  What I am referring to here is an emphasis on the essentials in life (teaching kids about satisfying basic needs and giving in to a few wants once in a while), exposure to positive stress to enhance development as a person and minimizing unhealthy unhelpful ones, recognition of multiple intelligences and acceptance of the uniqueness of each child, and provision of an environment where each one can become the best s/he can be.

It is also on this framework that the Montessori approach to education fits well for us.  Another blog will be devoted to Maria Montessori’s philosophy in the near future.

We must remember that a happy child is a healthy child.  The happy hormones, endorphin and serotonin, boost the immune system, whereas the stress hormone, cortisol, has the opposite effect when always at high levels.  Therefore, a child’s experiences in the family and community, which affect the level of happiness and stress, are important for his/her health.  So our decision as individuals should always take into consideration our responsibilities as parents and our big impact to our children’s wellbeing.

5. Keep safe.  Safety is a primary concern of parents because kids do not know better!  However, this does not mean we go overboard and disallow them to be free to explore.  I know it’s difficult to overcome our fear that the child might get hurt, nobody wants that.  It’s just that we also do not want him/her to miss out on opportunities to learn and grow up to be a confident healthy adult.  My wife took pity of a preschooler who was restricted by her nannies (who were in all likelihood merely following her parents’ instructions) and was not allowed to play in a playground full of boisterous kids!  Read about it here.

For me, keeping our children safe means keeping them away from no uncertain danger and preventing them from actions with fatal consequences.  The exact circumstances depend on each parent’s judgment.  As for me, tumbles, scratches, bumps, bruises, few insect bites, dirtied fingernails, muddied shoes and many reversible consequences of mishaps during learning and exploration are acceptable.  Pain is a good teacher. 

Those that can be fatal such as electrocution, vehicular accidents, falling off balconies or trees, falling/stepping on sharp objects, and drowning are, of course, unacceptable.  Preventing these must always be in our mind, and foresight and common sense are valuable allies.

It’s basically choosing a healthy lifestyle and focusing on prevention rather than cure.  In other words, it’s a preference for long-term benefits over short-term convenience that makes for happy and healthy kids and parents, plus decreased medical expenses.

Here’s to healthy families and happy wallets!  Cheers!

photos courtesy of stockvault.net

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In the past Halloween seasons, our family sees to it that we spend time together doing activities that we can only do during vacations and holidays because my wife and I were then starting our respective careers in the industry.  ‘Tis the time for movie/tv series marathons, beach frolics and park/mall hangouts.  The most Halloween participation we had was to prepare goodies for neighbor trick-or-treaters.

Because of many invitations from their classmates this season, the whole family (except for the baby) got a taste of this popular western tradition.  It’s our kids’ first time to have fun with scary creatures and another chance to confront issues about death and afterlife in not so serious way.  My two eldest kids had known the concept of death when their puppy died in a road accident a few years ago, followed by the death of their grandmother about a month later.

For most of the younger trick-or-treaters, it was just a costume party involving many houses with scary decors, and then getting candies just for showing up.  Sweating it out at the village’s playground with friends afterwards seemed to erase the creepiness of the whole ritual.

The movies my older kids watched in separate occasions had more impact than the scary decors they saw.  My daughter and her friends specifically asked not to have a bad dream in their prayers before hitting the sack during their sleepover.  My son was not satisfied with a prayer, and insisted on sleeping in our bed last night.  Twice I attempted to transfer him to his room and twice he came back.

In my time, my family did not have this Halloween tradition and I grew up eventually liking horror flicks regardless of the season.  What’s my take on this tradition?  Making the idea of death fun might help children deal with it better when it occurs in the family.  Uhmm…maybe.  But at the very least, for me it’s a social event that promotes community spirit and interaction among neighbors and friends, which should be encouraged as many now prefers to spend more time online to the detriment of the good ‘ol days of good-neighborliness.

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