During an interlude in church service earlier today, the melody of One Little Candle popularly sang by Perry Como (1952), with the first line "It is better to light just one little candle than to stumble in the dark", was played by the pianist.  It reminded me of an adage that I used to write on ticklers of applicants to our academic organization back in my college years.  My version is "It is better to light just one little candle than complain about darkness." 

As I sing the lyrics softly along with the melody, my wife gave me a knowing smile as she, too, remembers.  Let me share the meaningful song with you and you can sing along (the lyrics are included below the video).

ONE LITTLE CANDLE
(George Mysels / J. Maloy Roach)

Perry Como - 1952

It's better to light just one little candle
Than to stumble in the dark
Better far that you light just one little candle
All you need's a tiny spark

If we'd all say a prayer that the world would be free
The wonderful dawn on the new day we'll see
And if everyone lit just one little candle
What a bright world this would be

(Let's all light one little candle
Why stumble on in the dark)

When the day is dark and dreary
And your way is hard to find
Don't let your heart be weary
Just keep this thought in mind

(It is better to light just one little candle
Than to stumble in the dark
Better far to light just one little candle
All you need's a tiny spark)

If we'd all say a prayer that the world would be free
The wonderful dawn of the new day we'll see
And if everyone lit just one little candle
What a bright world this would be

What a bright world this would be

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It was a lovely Sunday indeed. We did our usual Sunday activities of going to church in the morning, playing with our kids, taking a nap and preparing for the coming week.

Dart Set (Santa’s Gift to My Son)

The morning was generally overcast with the sun playing peek-a-boo. Thus staying outdoors was pleasant so the decision was to play darts, which was the preference of my seven-year old son, over memory game or scrabble that my nine-year old daughter favored.

After a bit of resistance, the latter enthusiastically played the game that went like this. With three darts, the older kids and I took turns hitting the board. The person next in line would add up the score of the current player and retrieve the darts so s/he can take his/her turn. After a while, it became clear that they both need lots of practice as the darts would not even hit or stick to the board. It was my daughter’s first time to play, but it was my son’s second after he opened the gift early this month (we had to pace the opening of gifts to allow them to appreciate each item…during the holidays, it’s easy for kids to ignore some of the toys and pay attention to only one or two).

What he learned in our first play session was already gone. After a few rounds, I asked him to throw small stones instead. His first objective was to throw it as far as he could to an adjacent vacant lot. This he enjoyed as he tried every other way/style, including switching between right and left hand (he seemed to have not truly decided yet…or maybe he’s ambidextrous).

Just like me, athleticism is not his card. So the objective was for him to experience physical activities to enjoy and perhaps develop accuracy, rather than strength. So after much freestyle stone-throwing, the next stage was for him to hit a wooden pole about four meters away and not stop until he’s able to do so. He reported to have hit it when I arrived from grocery (see below), whereas my daughter, who continued with dart throwing, saw some improvements in her game and was most proud of her hitting the bulls-eye once.

So I am thankful for the chance to play with my kids.

Neighborhood Grocer

The weekly grocery shopping had to be carried out today as my wife and I were in the flow yesterday writing articles (and did some administrative tweaking) for Hubpages.com and WannaBeHappyNow.com (Daily Happiness Tips, Daily Laughs and Happy Quotes Happy Images). During the holidays, we happen to drop by a neighborhood store to do an emergency purchase of milk and diapers. We found out that it has expanded to include fresh produce, and the prices are at par or, in certain daily items, even below those of the big grocery store in the mall where we normally shop.

Not only did we save time and fuel, as it’s only a kilometer away, we also made some savings on our daily items like milk and certain vegetables. So we made it back home on time for lunch and I am thankful for these.

Talk on Appreciation

Okay, okay it was more of a lecture than a mere talk. I took issue with my daughter when she kept on playing with her Nintendo DS instead of meeting us when we arrived home from the store. It also stemmed from her call (through the cell phone of one of our helpers) when we were out, just to inform us that she wants to stop playing darts. The issue was not just the use (and cost) of another person’s phone (and money) for a non-emergency concern, but knowing her, she only wanted clearance and justification for her laziness to continue practicing a new skill (playing darts) outside the house and preferring instead to play Nintendo on a sofa in the living room. More importantly, the call was made mere five minutes after we left, which means only five minutes of extra practice.

As a consequence, the rules on using their Nintendos, particularly when to and the duration of use, were tightened.

At lunch, my wife and I pointed out that every home (=parents) have unique parenting styles and priorities. The rules were loosened a bit over the holidays when we had two other families living with us. Back then, there were lots of time for playing Nintendo/ computer games and watching video/television programs with their cousins; much goodies were available to munch almost anytime (after all it’s the holidays); and there were plenty of activities/interactions and more than the usual going out and family trips.

As we readjust to our normal routine, we had to remind our kids of the basic rules of the house. There was a need to point out that it was conscious effort on the part of their parents to spend time with them (playing and eating together, and having conversations). Because as much as it was easy for kids to spend so much time on Nintendo, computer games and television, it is also rather easy for parents to lose oneself in their respective job, be engrossed with computer, television or hobbies, and be unmindful of the opportunities lost to interact with their children.

These reminders made an impact on my daughter that she cried, whereas my son asked if being too strict can make a “hole” in one’s heart. We found out that it was a way for one of his teachers to explain about a heart condition that would not allow her to be too bothered or upset about her students’ rowdy behavior. We had to answer that anything too much, like too strict, is not good; and that everyone needs to be respectful, mindful and considerate to others.

I am thankful for the opportunity to have these conversations with my kids.

Long Afternoon Nap

The afternoon was cooler because of the rain that poured (and continued into the night). My usual after lunch (and newspaper scanning) nap extended well into the late afternoon. Midway to that long nap, my wife got envious that she decided to turn off the laptop and join me. I guess my body compensated for the inadequate sleep last night as I worked on online marketing, and I also have the weather to thank for that good afternoon sleep.

Bucket Filling

A commitment I made when I gave my daughter my book “How Full is Your Bucket” was to read it with her. This was necessary as the book is intended for grown-up reading and she’s only in the fourth grade. I will write about how this became hers in the next few days.

The topic about positive interaction forced me to pay attention and calm down as she read a few pages from the book. You see, I was quite anxious to immediately start to write as I was already behind with what I intended to do in the afternoon due to my extended nap. But my daughter, who’s been waiting for me to wake up as we earlier resolved during lunch that school assignments had to be done in the afternoon to avoid last-minute cramming in the evening, was holding me to my commitments. When I am unable to focus on what I want to do, I get distressed and it’ll show in the conversation.

But since the book was about the benefits of positive interactions, I cannot be anything but positive. As she read and I explain to her those portions she cannot understand, I was reminded of the things I ought to be doing to create a positive environment for my kids. And I am thankful for that…

Gratitude Ritual

Our toddler and baby were asleep early in the evening so the older kids had all our attention at dinner and in the ensuing nightly gratitude ritual. The lively conversation during dinner continued in the gratitude ritual that we restarted just a few days ago. I was again reminded of the heightened activities, positive interactions and all-around positive energy in the house during the holiday visit of our relatives that we unconsciously forego of the ritual. There was just little chance for it to happen at that time as we were on separate tables, usually grouped according to age (and gender in the case of the kids) as a matter of course during meals. Conversations also extended after dinner and separate groups had different topics of interest. All these happened almost every night for more than two weeks.

As I see the happy faces of my family around the table while talking about the food, the activities and other things that we are grateful for today, I was additionally pleased that we were doing it again. Lengthy topics include my daughter’s darkened skin because of a pool party with friends, how she should not worry about and just accept her natural color because it cannot be changed…while asking her to recite the serenity prayer*… but she has to take care of her skin better than her parents did with theirs; my son’s idea of putting a green substance over the skin, which can be removed, to protect the skin when swimming; about where each got his/her skin color, nose, ears, eyes, etc.; about their great grandparents…and finding out that one is still alive…my wife’s grandma “Lola Sexy”…who we may get to see again in the summer if she has not gone back to the United States by then; and so on…

I am so thankful that the family has gone back to our normal routine and we are getting comfortable with it again.

*Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to do the things that I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.                                                              -Reinhold Niebuhr

DAILY THANK YOU

You may also want to write your daily thanks and share them to spread the positive energy. It's like gratitude banking; who knows, you might need to be reminded of these blessings at some point in your life. So make deposits starting now by writing and sharing them at DAILY THANK YOU.

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Yesterday was the last Sunday before my brother’s family leaves for Australia, and therefore the last chance for a joint (advanced) birthday celebration of my daughter and my niece whose birthdays fall just three days apart. On Saturday, they were allowed to plan what they would like to do. After several back-and-forth consultations with me about their choices and the considerations behind them, they finally settled for a pool party in a resort up on a hill.

However, after attending the Sunday morning mass, it became quite clear that it’s not going to be a sunny day (and then light rain actually ensued). So as not to disappoint the kids (they were already in their swim wears), I got busy on the phone looking for an alternative pool…an indoor pool. In between calls, I urged the celebrants to think of “Plan B”. Stubborn as she is, my daughter won’t hear of it! Her mind was already made up the previous day and so the original plan has to happen!

Finally, we arrived at a conclusion that there is no indoor pool in the whole city. So a quick suggestion had to be offered as the kids were getting restless. By then my soon-to-be-ten-year-old daughter was already crying and still insisting that they were going to swim that day, even after much explanation about having no control over the weather.

Going to the movies to watch the sequel of “Alvin and the Chipmunks” was the magic suggestion that brighten the faces of the younger kids. To make it more appealing to my daughter, we reminded her of the “girls’ night out” she had last year with her closest friends and how exciting it would be to do a similar celebration with her cousins and family…i.e. making the choice on where to dine, ordering the food by herself, and playing in the mall arcade, this time after watching a movie. Her co-celebrant already bought the idea when my daughter finally agreed.

In the end, she still asked her mom if she can cry a bit more and promised to turn her mood around. She was assured that she may and that crying can relieve the frustration she’s feeling. Indeed, it turned out to be a fun, wonderful, and tiring day at the mall for kids and adults alike.

Being as stubborn as she is, my wife and I knew how she felt and are confident that she’d eventually learn to manage the unplanned, the unexpected better than we did in the various phases of our lives…for indeed life is full of surprises and our attitude towards these is the only power we have over them.

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At last, after a couple of failed attempts and many unrealized plans, the family finally saw the insides of the famed People’s Park at the center of Davao City.  The failed attempts had to do with our failure to take note of the park’s schedule, which is 5-8 AM and 1-10PM.  These are periods one would not likely see us in the downtown area.

This time, the plan was to go to church at 7-8AM and play at the park afterwards.  We almost completely missed it when we arrived five minutes before closing, again only taking our chances and not knowing what the schedule was.  When we realized that it was already closing time, my wife and the baby in her arms got off the car in front of the gate and inquired.  To everybody’s delight, the “park rangers” led us in and even allowed us to park inside the parking area reserved for officials. 

Here’s a slideshow of our short but enjoyable stay inside the People’s Park.

It needs to be mentioned that developing a park at the heart of the City is laudable.  Considering that this was not in the original set-up (the area was an open, poorly maintained athletic field, more bare soil than turf) like most towns/cities in the country where parks are negligible, almost bereft of trees and poorly maintained.  Also, the area is prime location, near commercial establishments and tourist spots of the traditional center of the City.  Concerts and other shows had been staged and regular events such as early weekend morning aerobics classes are open to the public.

There’s much to admire about the concept and the intention of providing for recreational and cultural services to the people…contributing to the livability of the City.

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Today is another Sunday and I am reminded of the first Sunday of this month when my family deviated from our Sunday routine.  Just like what happened in my blog the previous Sunday when we attended mass in a new church, we went to the Cathedral instead of the usual chapel inside the village. 

It was quite a big deal for me because it was my father’s insistence on having his haircut that morning that led us to the Cathedral at the heart of the city.  A haircut when in fact he just had it a couple of weeks ago and his white hair had not grown that much anyway (well at least in my opinion).

My father had been living with us for a few months now ever since he suffered an asthma attack.  An earlier mild stroke that left him limping on his right leg did not force him to change the routine he had for years.  He was resolute in living alone in his house at the center of the city to enjoy all the freedom he’s been accustomed to.  

It all changed one morning as he went about supervising a small project at the third floor of his property.  According to him, he already felt heaviness in his breathing as early as eight o’clock but only decided to seek assistance from one of his tenants a couple of hours later.  Instead of going straight to the hospital less than one kilometer away, he instructed the tenant to bring him to my house, which is a good 15-20 minutes drive from his house.

My initial reaction was to rebuke him about his decision to come all the way to my house at the other side of town only to take him back to the hospital close to his house.  But I later realized that my father was afraid and just needed me to be there for him.  Moreover, he must have felt that there was no way to contact me as he already tried desperately to call the whole morning but to no avail (I imagine panic must have contributed to this).

The incident made him more acquiescent that led to the current living arrangement.  My wife and I speculated that as he recovers and gains more confidence, he would want his independence back. 

There were already a number of instances prior to that Sunday wherein he made some demands to go to certain places and do certain errands.  It was becoming clear that he’s feeling well enough and slowly becoming restless.  But for now, let us leave those stories - our (mis)adventures as he regains his confidence to venture by himself in a future blog.  

Giving in to my father’s wishes did not come easily as we interpret them as merely excuses to go out of the house.  However, it occurred to me that I may not always have such opportunity to bring him where he wants to go.  I was just probably afraid it might become too frequent to handle.  Anyway, he and I can always come up with certain compromises on how and when to do them should some conflicts emerge.

To accommodate his wishes to go to his barber, we went to the Cathedral and found it overflowing with people.  The kids, my wife, my father and I content ourselves standing on the stairs leading to one of the three or four Cathedral entrances.  We literally “heard” mass as we saw neither the priest nor the altar. 

The Cathedral was just across the street from a park where a children’s playground was recently added.  So while my father was having a haircut, the three kids had a blast with the animal statues. 

It was particularly exciting to our toddler as he’s been learning to sing “Mr. Rhino…got one tail, four feet, twelve toes” much to our amusement, especially with his cute rendition and all.  He proudly got on to each of the animals: the rhino, the tiger, the giraffe, the elephant, the zebra, but not the monkeys as they were literally on a tree, while the crocodile, tortoise and eagle were fenced and beyond reach.

I thought we would run out of things to do as it might turn out to be a long wait.  But what a relief!  It really takes so little to please these kids.  I guess it was the fact that they were all there together to enjoy the rides and each other's company that made it fun, plus a chance to each demand from me a lift onto the back of the statues.

The baby happily watched us from her mother’s lap, while the latter got a chance to play catch up with a couple of long-distance friends over the phone.  My father was of course happy not only because of his new haircut, but I guess also the importance he must have felt when we worked around our schedule to accommodate his needs (or whims).

The new week witnessed our toddler talking incessantly about the animal statues as he vividly recalls the giraffe’s long neck and the elephant’s big ears. It was the same excitement when he first rode a horse in a merry-go-round and the many other “firsts” that never fail to remind me how inconsequential the price I had to pay for the joy my children brings me.

Thanks in no small part to my father’s insistence and my decision to give in that the day became one of the family’s best Sundays.  It turned out that giving in to make someone happy is actually a gift we give ourselves.

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Today was quite different from our Sundays in recent months. A need to meet my students in a local university necessitates some adjustments in our Sunday routine; adjustments that turned a usually slow, simple day with limited things to do into a day teeming with energy and activities but restful at the same time.


Everyone in the household turned in early last night so it was no surprise that there was no trouble waking the kids up about an hour earlier than a normal Sunday. Our toddler was first to demand a bottle of milk who then cheerfully woke his older siblings up in the next room. Without much ado, they were up and inside the bathroom to shower.


The baby waited a bit for her cue, quietly looked around and listened to the activities from her crib. As my wife calls out from downstairs for a breakfast of champorado, anchovies and hotdogs, the baby also cooed to remind me to pick her up, too.


With much cooperation from everyone, we made it to church a few minutes into the mass (even though it was still on time according to my watch). It was our first time to attend service in this university chapel. Beautiful music, a serene atmosphere, and a homily about servant leadership were our immediate rewards for attendance.


In the three hours I spent fulfilling my work duties, my wife managed the needs of my father, our kids and a relative. The kids were freed to explore the university grounds, my father was taken to see my brother and his family, and a relative got a chance to see the kids.


As boredom sets in a couple of hours, a change in venue was needed. The nearby mall was a welcome solution. There was an organic produce fair to hold the kids’ attention for a few minutes and the kiddie rides took care of the remaining time that allowed my wife to leave them with their nannies to fetch me and my father from our respective appointments.


Much to her delight, we allowed our eldest child to decide which restaurant to dine in for lunch. My father also happily took care of the bill with an added incentive for him to take advantage of senior citizen discount.


After a hearty meal of chicken-based dishes, the kids and I went to the bookstore to check out children’s books, while my wife accompanied my father in buying a few clothing articles. It was then I realized how books became natural companion to our kids as our toddler eagerly feasted on various titles as did the older ones.


As we drove back home, the kids were as boisterous as they were early in the day. They were all talking and singing, including the baby who seemed to be making the loudest noise. The same degree of enthusiasm that got her booted out from the church during the homily as her “singing” started distracting elder churchgoers seated next to us.


The afternoon found most of us sleeping to later wake up to our regular Sunday game of scrabble. With much bravado, our eldest finally beat her parents after many Sundays of disappointment. It was indeed the greatest Sunday ever, she exclaimed.


As we perform our nightly gratitude ritual, everyone recognized how especially blessed this day had been. The kids enjoyed the sun as well as the modern amenities of a mall. The boys got to ride a “robot’, a “horse” and a “duckboat”.


Our nine year old showed leadership as she gave way to her younger brothers and let them enjoy the rides (and not herself) so she can stick to her “budget” and return the “emergency funds” in full to her mother. Allowing her to decide on the restaurant for lunch and winning scrabble over her parents later in the day also gave tremendous boost to her confidence.


My father got his wish to see my brother's family and to buy some new articles of clothing for himself. A relative was happy to see the kids once again. Our nannies got to see places they’ve never been.


I got to do my job and instead of ruining a Sunday, we were blessed with a great family day. Thanks to my wife who showed flexibility and turned an otherwise sticky issue to an opportunity to do something different: a Sunday with the usual activities we look forward to and a lot more.


With a wife and children like these, fatherhood is indeed a breeze…

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