It was a lovely Sunday indeed. We did our usual Sunday activities of going to church in the morning, playing with our kids, taking a nap and preparing for the coming week.
Dart Set (Santa’s Gift to My Son)
The morning was generally overcast with the sun playing peek-a-boo. Thus staying outdoors was pleasant so the decision was to play darts, which was the preference of my seven-year old son, over memory game or scrabble that my nine-year old daughter favored.
After a bit of resistance, the latter enthusiastically played the game that went like this. With three darts, the older kids and I took turns hitting the board. The person next in line would add up the score of the current player and retrieve the darts so s/he can take his/her turn. After a while, it became clear that they both need lots of practice as the darts would not even hit or stick to the board. It was my daughter’s first time to play, but it was my son’s second after he opened the gift early this month (we had to pace the opening of gifts to allow them to appreciate each item…during the holidays, it’s easy for kids to ignore some of the toys and pay attention to only one or two).
What he learned in our first play session was already gone. After a few rounds, I asked him to throw small stones instead. His first objective was to throw it as far as he could to an adjacent vacant lot. This he enjoyed as he tried every other way/style, including switching between right and left hand (he seemed to have not truly decided yet…or maybe he’s ambidextrous).
Just like me, athleticism is not his card. So the objective was for him to experience physical activities to enjoy and perhaps develop accuracy, rather than strength. So after much freestyle stone-throwing, the next stage was for him to hit a wooden pole about four meters away and not stop until he’s able to do so. He reported to have hit it when I arrived from grocery (see below), whereas my daughter, who continued with dart throwing, saw some improvements in her game and was most proud of her hitting the bulls-eye once.
So I am thankful for the chance to play with my kids.
Neighborhood Grocer
The weekly grocery shopping had to be carried out today as my wife and I were in the flow yesterday writing articles (and did some administrative tweaking) for Hubpages.com and WannaBeHappyNow.com (Daily Happiness Tips, Daily Laughs and Happy Quotes Happy Images). During the holidays, we happen to drop by a neighborhood store to do an emergency purchase of milk and diapers. We found out that it has expanded to include fresh produce, and the prices are at par or, in certain daily items, even below those of the big grocery store in the mall where we normally shop.
Not only did we save time and fuel, as it’s only a kilometer away, we also made some savings on our daily items like milk and certain vegetables. So we made it back home on time for lunch and I am thankful for these.
Talk on Appreciation
Okay, okay it was more of a lecture than a mere talk. I took issue with my daughter when she kept on playing with her Nintendo DS instead of meeting us when we arrived home from the store. It also stemmed from her call (through the cell phone of one of our helpers) when we were out, just to inform us that she wants to stop playing darts. The issue was not just the use (and cost) of another person’s phone (and money) for a non-emergency concern, but knowing her, she only wanted clearance and justification for her laziness to continue practicing a new skill (playing darts) outside the house and preferring instead to play Nintendo on a sofa in the living room. More importantly, the call was made mere five minutes after we left, which means only five minutes of extra practice.
As a consequence, the rules on using their Nintendos, particularly when to and the duration of use, were tightened.
At lunch, my wife and I pointed out that every home (=parents) have unique parenting styles and priorities. The rules were loosened a bit over the holidays when we had two other families living with us. Back then, there were lots of time for playing Nintendo/ computer games and watching video/television programs with their cousins; much goodies were available to munch almost anytime (after all it’s the holidays); and there were plenty of activities/interactions and more than the usual going out and family trips.
As we readjust to our normal routine, we had to remind our kids of the basic rules of the house. There was a need to point out that it was conscious effort on the part of their parents to spend time with them (playing and eating together, and having conversations). Because as much as it was easy for kids to spend so much time on Nintendo, computer games and television, it is also rather easy for parents to lose oneself in their respective job, be engrossed with computer, television or hobbies, and be unmindful of the opportunities lost to interact with their children.
These reminders made an impact on my daughter that she cried, whereas my son asked if being too strict can make a “hole” in one’s heart. We found out that it was a way for one of his teachers to explain about a heart condition that would not allow her to be too bothered or upset about her students’ rowdy behavior. We had to answer that anything too much, like too strict, is not good; and that everyone needs to be respectful, mindful and considerate to others.
I am thankful for the opportunity to have these conversations with my kids.
Long Afternoon Nap
The afternoon was cooler because of the rain that poured (and continued into the night). My usual after lunch (and newspaper scanning) nap extended well into the late afternoon. Midway to that long nap, my wife got envious that she decided to turn off the laptop and join me. I guess my body compensated for the inadequate sleep last night as I worked on online marketing, and I also have the weather to thank for that good afternoon sleep.
Bucket Filling
A commitment I made when I gave my daughter my book “How Full is Your Bucket” was to read it with her. This was necessary as the book is intended for grown-up reading and she’s only in the fourth grade. I will write about how this became hers in the next few days.
The topic about positive interaction forced me to pay attention and calm down as she read a few pages from the book. You see, I was quite anxious to immediately start to write as I was already behind with what I intended to do in the afternoon due to my extended nap. But my daughter, who’s been waiting for me to wake up as we earlier resolved during lunch that school assignments had to be done in the afternoon to avoid last-minute cramming in the evening, was holding me to my commitments. When I am unable to focus on what I want to do, I get distressed and it’ll show in the conversation.
But since the book was about the benefits of positive interactions, I cannot be anything but positive. As she read and I explain to her those portions she cannot understand, I was reminded of the things I ought to be doing to create a positive environment for my kids. And I am thankful for that…
Gratitude Ritual
Our toddler and baby were asleep early in the evening so the older kids had all our attention at dinner and in the ensuing nightly gratitude ritual. The lively conversation during dinner continued in the gratitude ritual that we restarted just a few days ago. I was again reminded of the heightened activities, positive interactions and all-around positive energy in the house during the holiday visit of our relatives that we unconsciously forego of the ritual. There was just little chance for it to happen at that time as we were on separate tables, usually grouped according to age (and gender in the case of the kids) as a matter of course during meals. Conversations also extended after dinner and separate groups had different topics of interest. All these happened almost every night for more than two weeks.
As I see the happy faces of my family around the table while talking about the food, the activities and other things that we are grateful for today, I was additionally pleased that we were doing it again. Lengthy topics include my daughter’s darkened skin because of a pool party with friends, how she should not worry about and just accept her natural color because it cannot be changed…while asking her to recite the serenity prayer*… but she has to take care of her skin better than her parents did with theirs; my son’s idea of putting a green substance over the skin, which can be removed, to protect the skin when swimming; about where each got his/her skin color, nose, ears, eyes, etc.; about their great grandparents…and finding out that one is still alive…my wife’s grandma “Lola Sexy”…who we may get to see again in the summer if she has not gone back to the United States by then; and so on…
I am so thankful that the family has gone back to our normal routine and we are getting comfortable with it again.
*Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to do the things that I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. -Reinhold Niebuhr
DAILY THANK YOU
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