This period of the year has always been associated with so much activity ever since I can remember. The young would be busy with school events associated with Christmas or New Year mainly parties, gift exchanges, decorations, programs and of course there’s the anticipation of presents, lots of foods and a two-week break from school. When one gets out of school and gets a job, similar activities are still participated in usually in an office environment, except the two-week break that is only enjoyed by those working for schools or businesses catering to students. Because of the newly found freedom to buy through one’s hard-earned money, shopping becomes a welcome pursuit during the holidays.

When one gets to be a parent of a toddler, it takes on a whole new level as the child can now get to participate in decorating and in other family activities. Anticipating gifts takes on a new dimension for the family as the concept of the ultimate gift-giver, Santa Claus, is introduced. The paradigm for shopping also shifts as one becomes truly more of a giver and expects less for him/her self.

Some of you might be wondering where I’ve been the past couple of weeks. Because my last two posts were related to HubPages, some might assume that I got carried away with the title “HubNugget” that I acquired after my first hub (or article) made it to the top five among newbies, and I either went crazy writing tons of articles for that site or I merely froze, got blocked and did no writing at all.

We’ll the euphoria may have lasted that long but unfortunately it did not translate into a writing frenzy, or a writer’s block either. On top of the above usual holiday planning and activities, the computer and the laptop were working overtime. Again not so much on actual writing but on communicating, laying out plans, getting into the online shopping craze, and learning new stuff about internet marketing.

Communicating and Planning

These got to do with my role as representative of my family (we call it a “branch”) to a team in-charge of preparations related to our late mother’s big clan’s annual activity. Two branches were designated as sponsors and we had to coordinate with eight other branches in behalf of almost 200 clan members. It’s no mean feat as we are trying to introduce new activities to our annual reunion held every first day of the new year, which actually coincides with my late maternal grandma’s birthday.

As the clan gets bigger, it became so difficult to know one another even though majority of members live within the city and surrounding areas. We only see most of our relatives once a year during this event. Previous reunions have focused on the usual food, games and lining up to receive a small bill from our uncles. This coming reunion, we plan to organize around the theme of getting to know each other. Thus, a lot of pre-event activities are required not only for the sponsors, but for the rest of the clan members as well. I promise to elaborate on this in a different blog.

Getting into Online Shopping Craze

The mention of online shopping craze above might have given you the impression that we extended our holiday spending beyond the usual mall and bazaar shopping. On the contrary, we tried our luck writing short articles intended to make shopping online convenient for shoppers around the globe. My wife wrote the following articles at Hubpages to provide Christmas gift ideas for kids:

Great Christmas Gift Ideas for Girls

Christmas Gift Ideas for Little Boys

Christmas Gift Ideas for Kids at $20 Budget

Christmas Gift Ideas for Kids at $10 Budget

Christmas Gift Ideas for Babies and Toddlers

We worried a bit as the peak shopping happens the day after Thanksgiving in the United States and we only learned about this moneymaking writing a few days after. Well our efforts had not been in vain, it actually already paid off. Just a few minutes ago, my wife made her first sale and according to a report, she sold six items referred through her article and one of them got shipped already! Hopefully it’s only the beginning.

Learning Internet Marketing

Finally, learning about internet marketing took a lot of my time as well. There’s so much to know and to do to make money through writing online. As we have already taken our first steps to this internet adventure through this blog, Parenting Journey and WannaBeHappyNow.com over the past weeks, we now endeavor to make more from our efforts.

We launched a new website also focusing on happiness named HAPPY QUOTES, HAPPY IMAGES with quite a different format and approach. I hope you’ll visit it and enjoy its features. Quite limited now but it would definitely get better with age. So please check it out.

So that hopefully explains the lull in activities in FATHERHOOD ADVENTURES. Now the challenge for me is how to maintain a balance among these various interests and at the same time fulfill my obligations as husband and father.

UPDATE: My own wish list aka gift ideas is already published here.





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One of the perks of fatherhood that I enjoyed four times is coming up with a name for each of our babies.  I find naming things (or babies for that matter) pleasurable and meaningful.  I say this because it was also the case for the 19 new species of predatory mites described by my wife for her Masteral thesis.  I loved giving names to her newly described mites and she was very generous in allowing me to recommend names for her to take into consideration in the final phase of her work in Taxonomy.  It sure looked like she did all the difficult parts (in both thesis and babies) and I get to join in the fun part of giving names.  Lucky me!

It was not all fun though because there is also the pressure of coming up with a beautiful name each time so the kids won’t be ridiculed (or ashamed of it) when they grow up.  You know how cruel kids can be when teasing classmates or friends (or enemies).  But again, the challenge only brings more excitement to the process.

To make it even more challenging, we did not settle for a baby name that only sounds good or a favorite.  It also has to satisfy these rules: two names for each baby, letters sum up to 13, second name ends with ”ele”, and of course meaningful for us or the family.  Many parents settle for names or variation derived from their own or a relative (usually the grandparents), a popular person or those they admire, same first letters with one or both parents, etc.  Our rules came to be during the naming of our first baby and we just applied them consistently to the next three.

Rica Emmanuele.  Rica was the name of a girl in an International School whose photo I happened to get before we got married.  You know, when printing companies recycle materials, yearbook images can end up at the back of pads of paper or in wrappers of printed materials.  Being in the academe at that time, I see much of these.  Rica became meaningful when I saw in her the face of my own child…with my girlfriend then as the mother.  I took that as one of the “signs” that she is the one for me.  So I married her.

Emmanuel means “God is with us.”  The feminine derivative Emmanuelle and Rica would sum up to 14 letters but we recognized that our last names totaled 13 letters together so we decided to remove one “l” and then adopted the rule about 13 letters.  We just figured 13 is a lucky number for our family.

Joseph Leonele.  Joseph was taken from my wife’s name.  We were both in the academe then and my wife was also pursuing her graduate degree.  Her mentor (and I consider her mine, too) is Leonila.  Our admiration and gratitude for her was so much that we named our second child Leonele after her.  The derivative was intentional to make it masculine and the two names to sum up to 13 letters.  When the “ele” pattern emerged for our two kids, we adopted it as another rule.  This rule also made our children’s second names unique as their spelling does not follow the commonly adopted derivative of their respective names.

Andre Ezekiele.  Ezekiel, we found out from my mom’s prayer materials after she passed away, is the patron saint of cancer patients.  It means “God strengthens”.  It was meaningful to us because my mom died before our third child was born.  Andre sounds at first to be a derivative of my name but turned out to mean “manly” or “brave”.  It was a perfect complement to Ezekiele in terms of meaning and together conforms to our rules of naming.  It also matches the personality of our child.  Even at his present stage as toddler, we already see a headstrong and physically tough yet adorable adult in him.  We have associated this to certain factors during pregnancy, which will be elaborated in a separate blog by my wife.

Nadine Ysabele.  Our fourth child came about at a critical juncture in our family life.  It was when we need to hope for something more than what we have then.  And Nadine, which means “hope,” together with Ysabele, derived from Isabel that means “God is bountiful”, was a manifestation of that desire. 

With the rules we followed in naming them, it will be obvious for the sharper observers that these four names belong to siblings.

While writing this blog, I went through the history of our family, recognizing certain milestones in our parenting journey…all manifested in the names of our children.  Apparently, we were quite successful in the choices for the names of our babies for they are not only reflective of our family’s history but also of our children’s individuality.

Although the primary intent of this blog is to provide a firsthand account of our journey to our kids, I hope readers can also benefit from knowing how we did it…in our own unique way.

Useful links:
http://www.babyhold.com/
http://www.babynames.com/

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Fatherhood Adventures can attest to the effectiveness of Daily Happiness Tip #8- Smell a Baby.  It does calm me down from everyday stress to an extent that much hugging and sniffing may even induce me to sleep.

Just early this month when an important decision had to be made, I was all stressed out.  I happened to instinctively pick the baby up from the crib as she was making a fuss as if telling me to get her.  As I cuddled her, my thoughts still on the issue at hand, I started kissing her head and noticed her sweet smell. 

I realized how happy the baby was to be cuddled.  Her smile turned into giggles as I began to tickle her in the neck, arm and torso with my face.  It only took a few minutes of living in that moment to clear my head.  I felt better and was ready to tackle my concerns head-on. 

As mentioned in my previous blog on the benefits of being a dad, the smell, sight and sound of a baby trigger hormonal changes in men that supposed to improve problem-solving skills, resilience, motivation and stress-handling abilities. 

In different occasions, a few sniffs of the baby’s sweet smell was enough to elicit a good feeling in me…a natural high.  And indeed many times I dozed off during prolonged cuddling and exposure to baby scent.

How fortunate for me to realize (not too late) and articulate it now with our fourth child what must have always been happening to me with my first three.  Indeed discoveries are not made by looking at new territories, but by looking into familiar, everyday occurrences with a new set of eyes.

I am sharing this to provide a new perspective (a new set of eyes, or glasses if more apt) and help others recognize how precious our children are, and their presence is a blessing that positively impacts our own wellbeing if we learn to live in the moment.

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*A response by Bogs Nartatez to the blog Fatherhood Thoughts about Manny Pacquiao, Boxing and the Like.

Contact sports will stay whether we like it or not. In fact, more violent genre, which was quite taboo a decade or two ago, are now becoming main stream (UFC, PRIDE, URCC, etc). I have to confess that I enjoy contact sports (basketball, boxing, also did a little karate myself), I am even attracted to MMA (mixed martial arts). I like the concept and the art but not necessarily the violence in it (ironic?). I just try to follow fighters that I like and sometimes watch their fights (e.g. Georges St. Pierre, Vitor "the Phenom" Belfort).

 http://www.free-sport-wallpapers.comThere is something in the male gender that is prone to such activities to "prove" one's physicality. I think this has been Divinely designed in us males and is a real distinctive of the masculine species (of course, this in no way makes us superior to our better half). This is not bad in itself, but the expressions of it can be very bad (e.g. the megalomaniac Commodus and ancient Rome's lust for blood and death in the gladiatorial combats).

In terms of Manny and our kids, my personal conviction is that our kids should know about him; who Manny is, and milk his persona for all he's worth to encourage and challenge our kids.  For instance, his story from a nobody to becoming somebody; his work ethic and discipline; the lessons he learned along the way (from an extremely cocky dude to a more humbled and God-honoring person--he is still not an angel though); his love of country and our people (not just for personal wealth and fame), etc. Our kids should not be ignorant of Manny's image as a national icon.

However, I will definitely not let my nine-year old daughter sit through the whole 12 rounds of a Pacman fight. This is just not profitable for her. I will have to explain to her that this is sports pure and simple, and that this sports is for grown ups. Of course, she can come and take a peek at the fight as I'm watching and perhaps I can engage her in some conversation about it, but I will be clear that she can't watch the whole thing with me.

This is my straightforward take on the matter (I confess I have not given this much thought); and if you find this inconsistent and self-contradicting, well, I don't know, perhaps you are right . Violence is a reality in this world. We are not to be ignorant of violence and its many manifestations. However, we must not become so familiar with it that it loses its really ugly reality. Moreover, let's make sure that we don't lust for it like the ancient Romans did (apparently this is becoming a scary reality these days)!

As for The Pacman going in politics, away with such a thought!... But perhaps it's inevitable. However, I'm praying Manny will "see the light" and give up political ambition. He's moneyed enough and influential enough to do a lot of good without the trappings of politics.

In Photo: Bogs Nartatez with UFC legend 

Royce Gracie, Brazilian Jujitsu Master 
who held multiple UFC championships.

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Here’s something for us to think about come Saturday (Sunday in the Philippines) when another legendary showdown is in the making between boxing icon Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao of the Philippines and Miguel Cotto of Puerto Rico. 

Would you allow your kids to watch the bout with you?  How old is old enough?

On one hand is the argument against the culture of violence boxing, wrestling, and other full contact sports tend to promote.  Add to this category sports/hobbies/recreational activities centered on guns, weapons and firepower.  Some people I know dreams of a society devoid of guns and violence of any form.  Although this utopian dream is improbable to achieve if one considers human nature and complexities of human interactions, I see the logic and sound reasoning in approximating this ideal if only for our species own good.

Between me and my wife, she is more decidedly against such sport and recreation.  So when I broached the idea of no toy guns for our children early in our parenting journey, she readily agreed.

On the other hand, Manny Pacquiao is an acknowledged hero, Philippine icon and boxing legend.  Someone the kids should know something about, at least his excellence in his profession brought about by talent, discipline and determination.  However, much is to be desired in his other interests, particularly in politics... hmmm well, he deserves some slack.

Perhaps it’s also gender-biased to enjoy physical, full contact sports (at least watching it, in this case, and speaking for myself, I usually root for the underdog… huh?).  I grew up being able to watch “Andre the giant” slam his smaller wrestling opponent on TV as my father enthusiastically cheer “go for the kill!”  My brothers and I also had a good set of toy guns and combat paraphernalia, and were able to watch war movies/TV series and the like.  We even had two sets of gloves and a punching bag hanging in the middle of our common bedroom.

I don’t see myself as a violent person or wanting to be in this kind of activities, never mind a career!  This is in spite of exposures during my childhood years (well, violence on TV that is) and to toy guns, boxing gloves, etc.  None of my brothers have violent streaks, too.  Perhaps genetics had more profound impact in this case as my father is not a violent man himself.

My older son is averse to violence and tends to not respond aggressively to provocations from other kids.  My younger son, a toddler, tends to bully his more docile older brother now and loves to toy around throwing his tiny punches on his grandpa’s behind, my tummy and (unfortunately) his brother’s body or head, whatever is the easiest target at that time.  He learned about it in the news, while the family is talking about it, and/or when horsing around with me.

Though I am also confident that for him it’s just play, sometimes it unintentionally hurt someone who is already averse to such roughhousing.  By the way, he seems to only do it with the three other males, and not with the more numerous females in the household (interesting, isn’t it?).

There you go.  Should such sport, recreation or profession where the goal is taking down and knocking out the opponent before he does you (which are fortunately more regulated now by international professional bodies to prevent deaths and serious injuries) be tolerated and perpetuated (hey, it’s a billion dollar industry!) in the next generations? 

Can it really be stopped?  Perhaps like many other sports, men (and women) just need an avenue for occasional adrenaline rush or testosterone pumping; especially with the modern sedentary lifestyle most of us have!  What do you think?

Or is this just making much ado about nothing, and the answer is really just to go with the flow?  Hmmmm…

Certainly, it can be Pacman’s final match before his complete shift to a much challenging (more violent?) world of Philippine politics as congressman in 2010.  Hmmm, I am just playing it by ear then.  Any opinions?  Violent reactions?

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There are probably those among us wondering why on earth would someone want to spend time cleaning after a child’s mess that could range from the mildly annoying toys scattered all over to the stomach turning mishaps during potty training?  It appears counter-intuitive because fathers used to be secured in their designation as the breadwinner of the family and were happily oblivious of the fine points of child-rearing.  Back then life is definitely simpler.

The tide has turned and the norm seems to portray modern dads to be engaged in both providing for food and shelter as well as nurturing of children.  Many factors contributed to this shift, and modern moms gaining opportunities to work and earn is among the most important ones.

But for me, expecting dads to share child-rearing responsibilities is a welcome trend.  I can see many benefits not only to children and mothers, but also to fathers as well.  On the personal level, men can count on the following benefits in getting more involved in raising kids:

1. We become better men.  This is not just the psychological high we associate with being loved and loving, and being needed and needing someone in return that we feel like better persons.  According to recent research findings, men do not merely endure child-rearing activities (i.e. because we had to).  There are actual physical and cognitive rewards or benefits derived from taking care of a child (and the wife). 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bingramos/ / CC BY 2.0

The sight, sound and smell of babies trigger biochemical changes in men that results in increased motivation, heightened problem-solving skills, greater resilience and enhanced stress-handling abilities.  These explain improvements seen in relationships and in work performance among fathers.  To know more about the scientific bases of how dads become better men, you can start with this news article.

2. We secure the continuance of our family line.  Again, this is not merely perpetuation of our genes by fathering a child.  The likelihood of a child surviving and succeeding as an adult is dramatically improved with the support of a nurturing father compared to an absentee one.  Remember that the environment plays as important a role as do genes in our offspring’s success.

3. We become happier men.  It could be a function of being better men as explained in #1 above as we perform, able to handle stress and relate with others better.  But the mere scent of a baby, the kiss goodbye or the “hey Papa” hellos elicit instant pleasure and lightness in spirit that I don’t need any explanation or convincing that being close to our kids brings joy to men. 

One of the keys to living a happier life is the maintenance of at least two good relationships, i.e. with someone a generation older and another one of a younger generation.  These relationships do not necessarily involve parents and offspring, as it holds true with non-blood relations.  Therefore, when we are able to do it with our own kids, we are hitting two birds with one stone as we foster better current and future relationships down the line to our grandchildren and generations beyond, and we ensure the maintenance of our family line at the same time.

4. We understand ourselves better.  I don’t know if it comes with maturity (or living through a mid-life crisis), but as I began to see myself in my kids’ physical attributes, tendencies and behavior, I also began to fully accept my own biases, strengths and weaknesses. 

Genetics is indeed a wondrous thing, and so is the social influence into a person’s personality.  With understanding comes the conscious effort to commit to become better with what I have for my own and my family’s sake.  Who then is best to coach kids through life?  It’s none other than their parents if and when they have arrived at understanding their own selves first.  Being with our children facilitate such understanding as they mirror us in so many ways.

5. We get a second chance.  This could mean getting many opportunities to be kids once more and play ball, lego and computer games in the guise of teaching or spending time with the kids (wink wink).  Or it could also be another shot at something we’ve wanted to be or do but never got a chance, or did so but blew it.  This desire to live our dreams through our kids is a powerful drive, but can lead to disastrous results if not handled right.  While it can be good to want our kids to be better than us, it has to be in the context of what they are and what they want to be (and not necessarily what we parents want them to be). 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gideon/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

So with the above caveat in mind, let us welcome our second chance at getting better results, whether at playing Nintendo or taking on the path towards virtuosity.

Lastly, don’t despair if you haven’t seen some of the above benefits accruing on you.  There’s a learning curve and it may be slower in certain people than others.  In my case, I only fully appreciated all these in the second batch of our kids and that came seven years after our eldest daughter was born.  Lucky me I got my second chance.

I won’t be surprised if there are other rewards or benefits of being a father that I failed to cover here, so please let me know about them.

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Today was quite different from our Sundays in recent months. A need to meet my students in a local university necessitates some adjustments in our Sunday routine; adjustments that turned a usually slow, simple day with limited things to do into a day teeming with energy and activities but restful at the same time.


Everyone in the household turned in early last night so it was no surprise that there was no trouble waking the kids up about an hour earlier than a normal Sunday. Our toddler was first to demand a bottle of milk who then cheerfully woke his older siblings up in the next room. Without much ado, they were up and inside the bathroom to shower.


The baby waited a bit for her cue, quietly looked around and listened to the activities from her crib. As my wife calls out from downstairs for a breakfast of champorado, anchovies and hotdogs, the baby also cooed to remind me to pick her up, too.


With much cooperation from everyone, we made it to church a few minutes into the mass (even though it was still on time according to my watch). It was our first time to attend service in this university chapel. Beautiful music, a serene atmosphere, and a homily about servant leadership were our immediate rewards for attendance.


In the three hours I spent fulfilling my work duties, my wife managed the needs of my father, our kids and a relative. The kids were freed to explore the university grounds, my father was taken to see my brother and his family, and a relative got a chance to see the kids.


As boredom sets in a couple of hours, a change in venue was needed. The nearby mall was a welcome solution. There was an organic produce fair to hold the kids’ attention for a few minutes and the kiddie rides took care of the remaining time that allowed my wife to leave them with their nannies to fetch me and my father from our respective appointments.


Much to her delight, we allowed our eldest child to decide which restaurant to dine in for lunch. My father also happily took care of the bill with an added incentive for him to take advantage of senior citizen discount.


After a hearty meal of chicken-based dishes, the kids and I went to the bookstore to check out children’s books, while my wife accompanied my father in buying a few clothing articles. It was then I realized how books became natural companion to our kids as our toddler eagerly feasted on various titles as did the older ones.


As we drove back home, the kids were as boisterous as they were early in the day. They were all talking and singing, including the baby who seemed to be making the loudest noise. The same degree of enthusiasm that got her booted out from the church during the homily as her “singing” started distracting elder churchgoers seated next to us.


The afternoon found most of us sleeping to later wake up to our regular Sunday game of scrabble. With much bravado, our eldest finally beat her parents after many Sundays of disappointment. It was indeed the greatest Sunday ever, she exclaimed.


As we perform our nightly gratitude ritual, everyone recognized how especially blessed this day had been. The kids enjoyed the sun as well as the modern amenities of a mall. The boys got to ride a “robot’, a “horse” and a “duckboat”.


Our nine year old showed leadership as she gave way to her younger brothers and let them enjoy the rides (and not herself) so she can stick to her “budget” and return the “emergency funds” in full to her mother. Allowing her to decide on the restaurant for lunch and winning scrabble over her parents later in the day also gave tremendous boost to her confidence.


My father got his wish to see my brother's family and to buy some new articles of clothing for himself. A relative was happy to see the kids once again. Our nannies got to see places they’ve never been.


I got to do my job and instead of ruining a Sunday, we were blessed with a great family day. Thanks to my wife who showed flexibility and turned an otherwise sticky issue to an opportunity to do something different: a Sunday with the usual activities we look forward to and a lot more.


With a wife and children like these, fatherhood is indeed a breeze…

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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It's now but a faint memory. My wife cannot hide her displeasure when I recounted the phone conversation I had with the friend who was supposed to arrange for our move back to the University. After a series of grueling discussions, reflection and goings back and forth, my wife was finally convinced that a move to the University is the way to go for our growing family.

But as fate would have it (so to speak), we are back to square one, not being able to tick off any one of our many unsettled issues. My wife was all hopes that the major ones would be decided or at least cleared prior to the baby's arrival so we can then focus on the newest addition to our family. Of course to add to her frustrations, Nadine (meaning "hope") also kept us guessing as to when she's coming out. It's just too much to bear... our patience had been stretched to an extent that everything seemed to be out of control! (of course these were coming from the point of view of two self-confessed control freaks).

But then, all these came to be quite inconsequential when Nadine at last arrived, after two false alarms and a lot of guessing, on March 30. She then came to be the focal point of the family activities and attention. During those times when we witnessed all the firsts (the first time she suckled, pooped, peed, smiled, etc.) and her steady development that made us forget, albeit temporarily, our impatience to everything that had not worked out as planned or hoped to be.

Indeed, when I am reminded (which is now very often) how our children had made me so happy, all hardships, energies and efforts spent striving to give the best for them...everything is compensated somehow and it just feels so right. And around these times, time indeed flies... even for an impatient, control freak like me who is in dire need to grasp at something as all else is still up in the air.

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